


The Way to a Man's Heart is Through His Stomach

by Rubi_in_Rust



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Bad Science, Baking, Cookies, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Happy Ending, M/M, Mouth-to-Mouth, Swearing, Team Bonding, Touch Starved Tony Stark, Touch-Starved, Wooing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-20 12:23:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18992593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rubi_in_Rust/pseuds/Rubi_in_Rust
Summary: Clint mentions that if someone were to give him his Pappy's chocolate  chip cookies he would marry them , and Tony can't pass that up, so tries making them himself. What ensues is unsafe kitchen behavior and shenanigans.





	The Way to a Man's Heart is Through His Stomach

It was a beautiful day in Manhattan and robots of death were attacking. Nothing out of the ordinary for a Wednesday. The Avengers were on it.

"Know what I could really go for right now? Chocolate chip cookies," said Clint as he fired an arrow at a Doom Bot, skewering it against a building.

"There's a bakery right there we can hear to after we finish these Doom Bots off." Nat held her hands together to boost Clint and he jumped up and onto a flying robot's back. He commandeered it and shot 17 more robots off it before decommissioning it too.

"They don't make them dry enough, you take one bite and it's like you're drowning in ooze" Clint jumped off the crashing bot and into the Hulk's waiting arms.

"Hulk like ooze." Hulk said.

"That's great buddy, you'll love it. I'm not a fan"

"Hey Katniss, you should try cookie brownies, now those are good," said Tony as he fired repulse blasts away from his friends.

"Oh my god, you're a man after my own heart. But my Pappy's cookies were the best in the world."

"There's no way they were the best in the whole world, you're just biased."

"Listen I have striped cookies on every continent and I can safely say they are the best. Like, I would marry anyone on the spot for them best."

"Really… :3"

Clint didn't reply since he was punching a robot out, but Tony took note of it all the same, and the first thing he did after the battle, after taking a long hot shower, was tell Jarvis to download as many chocolate chip cookie recipes as possible.

"Okay, Jarvis, keep a record of all the attempts we got and bring up some thick chocolate chip cookies recipes, but not too dry. "

"Sir, you do realize that there are over 150,000 chocolate chip cookie recipes in the world?"

"We better get started then." Tony rolled up his sleeves.

They started with soft baked cookies, the more old fashioned kind.. After Tony got the hang of NOT setting them on fire with DUM E ( "Why would I bake them at 400 for 15 minutes when I could bake them at 2000 for 1 minute?") He brought the Avengers in to taste test them, paying close attention to what Clint thought.  
"Too flat."

"Too hard."

"Too dry."

"Too salty"

"Too sweet"

"Too burnt, what the hell did you do to this thing, add firecrackers to it?"

"No," Tony lied.

Until one day, after 200 attempts, he was sure he had gotten it right.

"Why the sudden interest in baking,  
Stark?" Natasha snagged a cookie from one of the plates he set out. He had to make at least 5 dozen to appease the team's (cough cough Steve and Thor) appetite.

"No reason."

"Whatever it is keep it up" said Banner, hauling a plate away. Tony wiggled in excitement, Bruce must really like them, since he'd never done that before.

It was movie night and they all congregated together to watch Airplane. They were working Steve through all the cinematic masterpieces bit by bit. Usually Clint and Nat sprawled over each other, but 15 minutes into the movie she complained he reeked and left to use Steve as a pile instead, leaving Tony and Clint alone on the couch. 

"Soooo... what do you think of the latest batch of cookies,?"

"They're good. "

"Good? Just good? Not fantastic? Not epic or stellar?"

"They're not bad cookies, I'll eat em, "

"You'll eat anything Clint, I've seen you eat several bugs " Natasha called.

"I'll eat them, but they're not Pappy's"

"God fucking dammit what are these elusive pappy's cookies? Cuz I can't believe they tacky are that good, these are the best I've made yet that didn't have booze in it " 

"It actually does have booze, he added rum."

Tony stared dumbfounded at Clint before slapping his own thighs angrily. "That's it, you're showing me how to make these damn cookies."

"What, right now? But we're watching a movie! "

"The movie will always be waiting for toy bit you might forget the recipe any minute"

"That's not how memory works,Tony."

"ThAt's nOt hOw mEmoRy wOrks ToNy," Tony mimicked as he stood up.

"I'm not going, I'm all comfy."

He grabbed a hold of Clint's legs and pulled him off the couch. Clint yelped and scrambled to hold on but Tony was too strong,and Clint fell off like a beached whale. Everybody laughed and jeered as he was dragged like a cat to the kitchen. 

"How are you so fucking strong?!"

"How are you so weak, is SHIELD accepting anybody these days? "

"You caught me unawares," Clint complained

"I'll have to file a complaint to Fury about amping up his agents' training if an old man like me could take on you. "

"You're not an old man, Stark. You're only a few years older than me"

"I'll have to file a complaint with Fury about letting old men stay as agents. "

"I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS, STARK" With the power of fury he scrambled out of Tony's hold and wrestled him to the floor of the kitchen.

"My money's on Clint! Natasha called.

"BRAWL BRAWL BRAWL" chanted Thor

"Tony can take him" said Steve. Banner nodded. But it was Clint who came out on top.

"Gotcha." Clint growled. He held Tony in a cradle. Tony still struggled, despite knowing he'd lost. He considered calling the suit to him but he didn't want to hurt Clint. And besides, he didn't get to be held that often. He was going to wring this… and then win the battle. Tony pretended to pass out from the choke hold, going limp .

" Oh shit tony? Tony wake up!" Clint released his choke hold and kneeled over tony, holding his face in one hand and smacking lightly with the other. Tony resisted the urge to lean into clings hand. He had an act to sell and a trick to pull off

"Aw, the brawl's over..." Thor complained.

" Thor!" Chided Steve, and he ran over to Tony, Thor following curiously " Banner and Nat hung back, shaking their heads. They knew he was faking it from experience.

"Tony wake up! Oh shit he has a heart problem doesn't he?" Clint put a hand to Tony mouth to check his breathing. Tony held his breath. 

"Shit, he's not breathing."

"Check his pulse," Nat casually pulled out her phone to record. Clint did so.

"He's got a pulse but he's not breathing, what do I do? "

"You gotta give him mouth to mouth" Banner offered, seeing where this was going.

Before Tony could protest and say it was all a joke devised to catch Clint unawares, Clint tilted his head up pitched his nor and was breathing into his lungs.

"I'll make as many dumb ass cookies with you as you like, Tony, wake up." Clint went in for another breath and Tony let him, figuring he was in too deep any way. The second Clint's lips touched his again he gasped. 

"Oh thank god, Tony you okay?"

"What happened" Tony figured he'd sell it. 

"I choked you out. On accident."

"You know I'm up for kinky stuff, but ask a guy first ya know?"

Clint smiled, and didn't take his hands off  
Tony, caressing his cheek with a calloused thumb. This time Tony couldn't resist closing his eyes and leaning into Clint's warm hand.

"Oh my god," whispered Natasha, who was still filming.

"It's happening!" agreed Bruce.

Thor and Steve looked at eachother with matching expressions and backed away, looking to Nat for advice. She nodded to the door and they took a hint. Bruce paused the movie and followed them. He paused at the door for Nat. She snuck behind Clint and mouthed  
"Don't blow this" at Tony. His eyes widened and he nodded almost imperceptibly.Then she nudged Clint over so his lips connected with Tony's again.

"Clint. Let it fly." She said before she slunk out the door. The two men sat up springing apart

"Well that was embarrassing" said Clint. "Sorry bout that."

"We all know Natasha, it's fine. What did she mean by 'Let it fly?'"

" Nothing. Just spy code."

"Jarvis?"

"No, don't!"

"Agent Romanoff has used it before to mean going for a target, and relaxing because you are sure to make it," said Jarvis.

"Right, and what exactly is your target, Clint?" 

"Don't make me say it," Clint grumbled. The floor suddenly had a very interesting pattern in the wood floor that resembled a sloth.  
Tony edged closer and tentatively rested a hand on Clint's. Clint whipped his head to look at Tony, who was looking at him nervously.

"Then don't say it."

Clint linked their hands together and pulled Tony in by his rumpled shirt. "I'm gonna kiss you now."

"You'd better," Tony breathed. And he did. Clint tightened his fist in his shirt and angled his head so he could access his mouth, kissing him like he was the sweetest nectar. Tony released his hand to hold Clint's neck, loving the pull of muscle he felt as Clint tried different angles  
they broke apart panting,looking each other up and down.

"You really promise to make cookies with me?" Tony said finally.

Clint rested his head against Tony's forehead. "I thought you were dying"

"You really care that much?"

"Oh course, you dick bag. Why do YOU wanna make cookies so bad? They're just cookies. "

"Yeah but they're YOUR cookies. Your pappy made them or whatever."

"Tony Stark, are you trying to make something of sentimental value just so I can enjoy it?"

"Psh what are you talking about I love to cook for my team, everybody enjoys my cookies."

"You literally hate cooking and exclusively order takeout for us. I think someone might be a little attached."

"Attached? That's what any guy would do, try 200 recipes for his friends."

Clint shook his head, chuckling. He kissed Tony's forehead and Tony closed his eyes and sighed.

"C'mon, let's go make two hundred and one. " Clint clasped Tony's hand and tugged him to his feet. 

"Nooooooooo I wanna keep kissinggggg" 

"Don't make me drag you."

"You can't drag me, I'm iron man. Iron is too heavy for hawks."

" I beat you last time."

"Ehh debatable."

"You were unconscious!"

"Slander and lies."

"Then what do you wanna do, huh?"

Tony smirked as he looked Clint up and down.  
"I could think of a few things."

Clint licked his lips but shook his head. "Let's not go too fast. Let's just see where this leads okay?"

Tony sighed but nodded. He didn't want to mess this up either.

"So, cookies?" He asked as he got to his feet. 

Clint smiled."Cookies"

**Author's Note:**

> A tumblr friend requested this, and I made them throw ice out a window if they really wanted it. Obviously they did because here it is! I am a finicky and distracted cryptid that will only finish fic with a sacrifice or you holding my hand.
> 
> If you want to sacrifice some ice too stop by my tumblr and give me a prompt! @mynameismeowmeow  
> PEACE


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